Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Housegirlfriending

First, I'd first like to acknowledge all those hard-as-nails females out there that dedicated their lives to fighting for our rights as women. Thank you for finding victory in women's suffrage, Equal Pay for Equal Work, Title IX and various other anti-discriminatory milestones.

Next, I'd like to acknowledge all those wonderful things that make stay-at-home moms so adorable: frilly aprons, fresh-baked goodies, spotless houses, home-cooked dinners, fruit bowls, errand-running, cute casual outfits, reusable grocery bags, Keds, Yankee candles, etc etc etc.

Now, I'd like to acknowledge myself for creating the best profession ever: the unmarried-yet-cohabitating stay-at-home mom with no kids. Essentially, the housegirlfriend. The housegirlfriend does all the wonderful things that a housewife does - cleaning, cooking, making sure all the good shows are DVR'ed - but, at the same time, she's a fun-loving gf, ready to don a hoodie, slam some beers and mow down on wings for a good ol' fashioned Sunday Funday.

This isn't meant to discredit the work of the afore-mentioned feminists... but how good does that life sound?

Whether you get to be a full-time or part-time housegirlfriend, here are some quick and easy tips for success:

  • Have a little appetizer ready for him when he comes home from a long day at work
  • Always ask him what snacks he wants from the grocery store when you go
  • Let him help you with things - opening jars, lifting large objects, saving your apartment from burglars
  • Let him watch whatever he wants on TV (ehh I know, it sounds horrible but we all have to make sacrifices)
So go on, get retro with it and June Cleaver the sh*t out of your relationship!

2 comments:

  1. You do know I never had a 'frilly' apron, don't you? :)
    You are too funny!

    ReplyDelete